Prime Minister's Question Time
Live on Fakebook, Issue 1510
PM's Questions

Q. A lady who won’t give her name asks: Why won’t you answer my phone calls and texts, you bastard? You dumped me as if I was a gremlin.

Er… good question and I think the main thing is to get Brexit done. What you’re saying, and I agree with you, is we need to stop the Marxist menace venezuelazising Blighty and turning us into the Communist Republic of Corbynistia. Next!

Q. Why are you ignoring me?

Next! Come on, Dom, get a grip. I’m having some trouble with this technology. But I do not need any more lessons, thank you, Ms Gremlin.

Q. Mr Mann from Workington asks: Is it true your entire election strategy is just to bribe people?

Congratulations, sir! You’re the third caller and therefore entitled to ten quid. Or would you rather have twenty? Let’s call it thirty and be done with it. And no national insurance on that – which takes it up to £450. Fact. Check. Tick! Well done you and everybody like you in lovely Workingclasston!

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Next issue on sale: 10th December 2019
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Spy bye
An ex GCHQ director joins a company with a shady record

Intelligence test
The man vetting Tory candidates is uniquely qualified

Broad swipe
Osborne’s conflict of interests over BT broadband



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